Tag: humor

Categories
2021 google humor pizza

GOOGLE PIZZA KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU L.O.L

Ordering a Pizza in 2021…

CALLER:
Is this Pizza Delight?

GOOGLE:
No Sir, it’s Google Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry…

GOOGLE:
No Sir, Google bought Pizza Delight last month.

CALLER:
OK… I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, Sir?

CALLER:
My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called, you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want…

GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:
What? I detest vegetable!

GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, Sir.

CALLER:
How the hell do you know!

GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:
Excuse me Sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:
I paid in cash.

GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!

GOOGLE:
I’m sorry Sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:
Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE:
I understand Sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…

😂😂😂😂

Categories
2021 humor LESSON

JANGAN GARANG SANGAT

Hidup ini time senang jangan garang sangat. Time susah orang tak berani nak tolong.

Categories
humor Motivation

FAKTA MENARIK

Menarik juge baca kenyataan nii😀😃😀😁😄

● Pada umur 20 tahun “di luar negeri” dan “kampung halaman “. Tiada beza (Tidak kira di mana pun anda boleh menyesuaikan diri)

● Pada umur 30 tahun, “siang” dan “malam ” tiada beza. (Tidak tidur satu malam pun tidak mengapa)

● Pada umur 40 tahun, “berpendidikan tinggi” dan “berpendidikan rendah” tiada beza. (Kadang2 yang berpendidikan rendah mungkin lebih mewah, atau kaya)

● Pada umur 50 tahun, “cantik” dan “hodoh” tiada beza. (Walau bagaimana cantik pun semuanya sudah luntur, kendur di makan usia.)

● Pada umur 60 tahun, “Pegawai tinggi” dan “pegawai rendah” tiada beza. (Sama sama sudah pencen, taraf dan status sama saja)

● Pada umur 70 tahun, “rumah besar” and “rumah kecil” tiada beza. (Gout, penyakit tua, tdk boleh jalan, banyak duduk dan baring saja)

● Pada umur 80 tahun, “banyak duit” and “tiada duit” sama saja. (Gigi sudah tiada, banyak makanan tidak boleh makan)

● Pada umur 90 tahun, “lelaki” dan “perempuan” tiada beza. Dua2 pun tiada tenaga.

● Pada umur 100 tahun, “tidur” dan “bangun” tiada beza. (Lepas bangun tidak tau apa mau buat)

Jangan memarahi atau berdendam dengan sesiapa, tempuhlah hidup ini dengan seadanya dan gembira. Suatu hari nanti kita semua sama saja 👌💪😁😁🌹🌹🌹

Categories
Uncategorized

#INFORMASI SANTAI 😁

Jangan Serius Sangat Nanti Cepat Tua – RahimHartanah

Kajian pakar psikologi di Malaysia mendapati antara ciri2 ppuan dah tua…

  1. Pelupa
  2. Cakap ulang-ulang
  3. Sakit lutut
  4. Uban/botak
  5. Mata makin rabun
  6. Mudah marah/melatah
  7. Penyakit datang satu2
  8. Kurang berfikir berat2
  9. Kenang masa lampau
  10. Suka lagu lama
  11. Suka re-union…
  12. Merajuk dan left grup
  13. Orang panggil makcik or aunty
  14. Suka copy-paste
  15. Post gambar makan
  16. Tak suka drama ada heroines cantik muda or janda meletop
  17. Mata silau bila drive mlm
  18. Tido tak suka pdg muka laki
  19. Baju byk tak muat nak pakai
  20. Membaca tengok jauh2
  21. Suka bfast nasi lemak or nasi grg
  22. Lupa nama kwn2 skolah
  23. Tak suka kwn2 or family sambut or ingat besday sbb takut org tau umur

Memiliki:
a)5 ciri di atas..tanda awal tua;
b)5-10 ciri- sedang tua
c)10 ke atas- confirm tua😜😁

Sapa baca sambil senyum confirm dah tua…😅😅😅

Have another blessed day
Dan yang menghantar ni pasti masih muda belia 🤣🤣🤣🤣